the joy.

welcome.

no rules.

.my world

welcome to my little enclosed world.

Pls do not take anything i say here to heart
i am jus ranting. ^^

If you cant take it, kindly close the window
otherwise share your thoughts with me =D

memories and rants

Wednesday, October 31, 2007; 3:43 AM

here's the update on tdy's meetin..

not bad i would sae..

few of the main stuff are talked out..

gt 'talked' to by kenny~

haha...

same old thing..

bad temper..

one weird thing..

i don rmb being angry w him b4..

haha..

old times.~

main agenda seems to be leslie..

yap..

and givin chances to him~

well... i don mind givin him chances..

but. hope he do changee..

im not being bias or anything..

i swear i did wanna forget everythin n try to accept who he is.

but somehow another he jus enjoy destroyin it.

hopefully he change tis time.. =)

sebas realli cute abt us 'attendin his talk'

so comical..

the old feelin is back man~

so nice to see ken agn..

howeva i have a fear..

the popper..

i realli hate it..

cant realli deal w it..

im lousy i guess..

look lk im a weirdie in candy bar..

hais..

tired tired~

carine

thank you ah ma for openin the door for mi

oh man i was so scare jus now..

Tuesday, October 30, 2007; 9:56 AM

im left with 10 mins to b out of the door..

tdy's gonna be a long dae.

hopefully everything will go well tonight.

i miss moment of friendship n happiness..

i detest sourness and unfaithfulness..

i realise i get too emo at times..

wish sometimes life can b like a fairy tale..

but it seems impossible..

or mayb i haven wrk twd its..

OMG gentle reminder to my brain~

rmb to buy jelly mix~

haaha..

if not tmr i eat grass ar~ ^ ^

forsake ur life for happiness?

i feel its worth it.

%carine%

Monday, October 29, 2007; 1:33 AM

todae is a nice one~

tot im gg to stuck at hm..

butt on sofa..

but.. i pluck out my courage n asked my mama~

can i go bbq tdy..

she initially flared..

but ii teh gong teh siao..

forget abt it den go back to my ironin..

den she suddenlystand behind mi n assked..

wad time u comin home~

yipee...

haha..

although its for a short while..

i enjoyed myself..

gt to thnx simon for drivin mi..

hah..

for some stupid reason.. i become his 2nd wife..

siao.. im a free person..

nt gg to be attached..

n somemore second lor!

siao..

hope it die dwn soon..

anyway..

we gt 'tracked' down?

weird..

wad for man~ jus a bbq for one of the sunday is tt wrong..

bo liao..

but.. ok..

meetin on tue~

fine..

will guai guai go..

but i wanna kao pei here..

i tue do mornin leh~

until 5 den go hm... go back agn for 11pm meetin..

kao lorr~

tot i realli free ar..

kns..

elearnin oso need to study de lorr..(ok.. mayb or mayb nt)

but i wan study de!

haha..

nbm..

now i noe is kenneth who asked for meetin..

we see how..

ong time no see pui pui de..

haha..

shhh...

omg.. so late le..

anil lesson wan dan..

+carine+

Sunday, October 28, 2007; 3:38 AM

ok..

initially tdy was nice~

at least i keep my arse off trouble..

had fun with ryan's sao..

den end up gt pinched..

but she got tired aft a while..

im bettter than stan stan..

haha..

went for stardust agn..

acc. them ma~

came out..

tt f*er find nth else better to do n stepped on my tail..

kao...

totalli fed up man~

i tried so hard to diaam n u.. ruinin it..

arse!

if u realli wan to go by the rules den u r in wrong position man..

hais...

damned...

im realli sure tt i'll jus shout back at him nxt tym..

since he doesnt appreciate the respect ppl showed him..

den i'll not giv him any face anymore..

donno whr tt banana came frm..

the mouth lk zha bor...

cannt stop n irritates ppl..

he better be careful..

im not the only one against him.

wait long long tt i'll help him to speak out.

darn!

tho mood is bad..

im still gg to giv the reviews of the movies..

Halloween

-not bad..

-2.5 / 5

-gore, sexual scene, thiller..(nice for ppl who lk suspense)

The last breath

-kinda sucky..

-2/5

-meant to be thriller, confusin, ghost not scary.

Rendition

-avg?

-2.5 / 5

-not suitable for kids lk mi.. racisim, political

Stardust

-nice, not bad!

-3.5 / 5

-totally splendid for kids .. a little unbelievable n very 'fairytale'

=carine=

Friday, October 26, 2007; 11:35 AM

it has been realli tiring tis few days...

everyday only feel lk sleepin..

haha...

finally the CRS wrk is over..

spent my last few days rushin it..

been aware on my character and attitude tis few days.

was told im rude..

n gettin agressive..

jus happen tt i cant take it when ppl nag at mi..

jus flare up easily..

tsk..tsk..

lunch time..

buai buai..

/carine/

Thursday, October 25, 2007; 1:15 AM

i feel as if my life is messed up~

my panda eyes.. slpless night.. stressful nights.
him.. im not sure can i jus forget abt it.. it jus keep on comin back.
studies lagging.
no heart to wrk.. jus feel lk go dere n play..
wrk to hide frm home.
feel as if i cant face many ppl in my life.
feel as if friendship w fab is strained
friendship w the gals so untrue.
smth tt stan has mentioned abt my approach.
doubt the way how i work.
the ability to do well for the comin ICA
my fats..
my hair..(cut or not?)
reflection of the above.

zzz

Tuesday, October 23, 2007; 1:14 PM

here's a short blog entry before i go back to slp.

tis few days..

realli tired..

donno y..

slpt a whole 2hrs lesson jus now.

look lk my 5 objectives are hard to accomplish too.

hmm..

look lk more and more annoymous ppl are invadin..

will make it pte soon.. if tis cont.

xiao stanley sound lk stan stan..

but i don think so lehh

saw soon hao jus now..

with a gal!

haha.. can u believe it?

lol..

nbm..

tmr wanna watch 'the last breath'

haha..

horror.. but hor..

who will acc mi?

don think stan stan wan lehh

its at 2 lehz.

aft show he will have nth to do somemore.

cant believe i read the wrong schedule.

hais..

为什么还爱你？

oh man.. i fell for this verse..

frm the milo-beng's song..

totalli immersed in it..

tsk tsk..

btw..

ytd psy proj is a disaster..

haha..

too early..

everyone haven fully awaken.

but think can make it la..

hee..

have to thnx BL for his cap..

forgot to lend frm other ppl.

but gt suan for big head..

haiz.

im born lk tt.. cant realli blame mi ma..

k la.. gtg for lesson..

zzz..

in between us is more than a river..

a sea or ocean is more lk it..

but im happy w the situation now..

carine

Monday, October 22, 2007; 1:00 AM

im tired~

wanna slp..

kinda settled my mum for ytd..

reached hm at 5 am..

soak w rain..

hee..

v suay..

it rained heavily ytd..

walk in the rain back hm..

cos not enuf taxi.

hee..

luckily got BL..

gave shortcut.

but come to think abt it..

its quite a long dist lorr..

shh~

tdy a little coughin n sneezin..

but not serious la..

u noe wad?

i think i had enuf of numbin myself w wrk..

gg to take it more lightly le..

twice a wk.

gonna catch up w my studies..

its realli laggin..

projs are dued soon n i haven even touch it.

haiz~

k la.. gtg..

730 tmr mus reach sch..

.carine.

Thursday, October 18, 2007; 1:26 AM

hmmm..

tdy's a long dae..

cos im tired

haha..

gg str to bed aft this.

even thou i cant dry my hair..

the comin week schedule sux big time..

damn..

esp for sat..

2 reasons..

but nvm don think i wanna announce it..

sometimes u jus cant b kind to others

might end up causin urself more prob.

lk i agree to help on wed..

n the result i gt is..

forget it..

kkz.. tt's all for tdy..

time for bed.

carine

Tuesday, October 16, 2007; 12:28 PM

im feelin a lot better.

all thnx to xxx..

haha..

well.. it feel so much better to tell someone.

at least i feel safe tellin tis person.

don tthink this person will tell anyone. =)

5 objectives to achieve for this sem.

1. catch up w my modules.

2. minimise the time for slpin in class.

3. less moody.

4. study for my BT!

5. be more kind to ppl ie. min. vul, think of others b4 wrds shoot n hit ppl.

gg to work l8r.

EOS.. thnx ar.. andy..

haha... zzz..

*-carine-*

Monday, October 15, 2007; 1:05 PM

if i sae im not sad..
im lying.
mayb i haven tried enuf.
i don seems to b upset.
but i hate it to realize im the one who initiate it
i shud jus shuddup
everythin might b alright
mayb the person on top wan mi to reflect wad i’ve done
tt’s y he gave mi such a long break tdy.
know wad i feel lk doin now?
see him n apologise.

maybe.
the feelin isn’t deep enuf.
which is y its so vulnerable.
hais
so much crap.
it wont help..
numb mi pls. or let mi die.

avoid mi as much as possible.

Sunday, October 14, 2007; 11:55 PM

its over

how?

i donno.

i jus blew it off..

wad were left are jus pieces of ashes n drops of tears.

tagged by wl..

im kinda pissed alrdy.. but it will b the last one im doin..

.1. What will your reaction be if I tell you that I love you?
i guess i'll be sry n apologise.. bro n ex bro is a no no..

.2. What will your reaction be if I cried in front of you?
er.. offer tissue paper.. n ask u wad's the prob

.3. What will your reaction be if I'm missing?
tell fab and tar hau to find u?

.4. What will your reaction be if I hugged you?
i'll retreat.. reason.. refer qn 1

.5. What will your reaction be if I shouted at you?
ignore.

.6. What will your reaction be if I got into an accident?
hospital!

.7. What will your reaction be if I told you I'll never be back?
i donno! don ask mi!

.8. What will your reaction be if I stole something from you?
same.. depend on wad u stole..

.9. What will your reaction be if I died?
stunned. i doubt ur ife wld b tt short

.10. Tag list
fab!

how come no one can sense my frustration?

i jus need more attn.. frm the right person..

*carine*

Saturday, October 13, 2007; 10:46 PM

woa!

im officially broke..

this month's babies sure is lots..

went shoppin for present tdy..

bought for my dear sis.. some cosmetics

my god sis an album

my dear les partner necklace n pendant..

n now.. im wondering how am i gg to spend my next few days..

totalli poor..

but one gd thing is all of them are gals..

guy's present are lot lot difficult to buy..

haa..

any protest?

haha..

the nxt prob be how am i gg to pass them the present..

ok..

my sis de is easy..

she's right behind mi in frnt the com..

my frens???

oh man..

all NP..

zzz...

ytd.. went for movie marathorn..

4 movie a day..

im mad..

haha.. so here's the critic..

1) the brave one.. 2/5

mayb i donno how to watch..

i sense nth much abt this show..

kinda boring yet meaningful if u think of it.

2) dectective 3/5

kinda nice..

a number of suspense..

make u wonder when u watch it..

3) resident evil: extinction 3/5

nice! but a little blur..

i love the actions n the zombies..

(i've alrdy admit im mad)

4) mr woodcock 3/5

a little slow..

not much on tt movie..

kinda cute n a little humor in it..

tt's all... ^ ^

/\carine/\

im glad everything is kinda back to norm..

i was tagged by fab...

so here goes..

1. What will your reaction be if I tell you that I love you?

er.. u reali wanna noe? cos i donno.. stunned i guess..

.2. What will your reaction be if I cried in front of you?

come on la.. im not dumb.. u wont cry in frnt of mi.

.3. What will your reaction be if I'm missing?

hmm.. find ways to contact u i guess.. i hate havin ppl ard mi gettin missing..

.4. What will your reaction be if I hugged you?

i'll hug back... (as if u will xP)

.5. What will your reaction be if I shouted at you?

ignore u i guess..

.6. What will your reaction be if I got into an accident?

hospital? and see how i can help.

.7. What will your reaction be if I told you I'll never be back?

well.. i donno?

.8. What will your reaction be if I stole something from you?

depend on wad u stole..

.9. What will your reaction be if I died?

sad.. i'll cry in fact.. cos no one to quarrel w mi le =D

.10. Tag list

xue na sab joo wen i thhink tt's all.. but can i post it back to fab?!

gtg.. time to spend money

carine

Tuesday, October 09, 2007; 10:46 PM

im hyper active..

getting restless..

i hate waitin..

lk wad i tot..

its gg to end soon..

^ ^

wen wen lk don lk him..

oh well..

its not gg to last oso..

so it doesnt matter..

im breakin my record of 1 mth..

haha..

tt's a gd thing..

im not gg to b a leech n stick to him..=)

went hm w daryl tdy..

talked to mi abt his studies..

gpa less than 1! tt's pretty good result..

-.-

haha..

volunteered to sent mi to bbdc for pract..

haha..

tt's cute..

cos i still have a long way to go..

hais..

but tt's nice of him la

talkin to wilson now...

seems tt he's wry abt mi..

haha..

not as if i'll commit sucide..

im cool ok?!!

haha..

gtg..

tmr lesson at 8!

still gt to wrk..

*wonder if i'll see him tmr?*

don push mi

im alrdy at my limits..

frens will do jus fine.

//carine//

Monday, October 08, 2007; 9:53 PM

don ask mi abt tdy.

a mixture of embarrassment, happiness, sorrow and indecisiveness.

sux totally.

but the smell lingers..

*ah choo*

= carine=

don bother to try to change anything..

its not gg to help..

no matter how much price you've paid..

Sunday, October 07, 2007; 7:41 PM

hmm.. i didnt update for..

3 days?

ok.. aft the prev's blog..

sth good? or bad? happened..

i donno wad to sae abt it..

i wan it.. yet afraid of it..

first thing i did on fri was breakin the 'good'news to my jies.

i donno wad to realli sae abt it..

confused.

he's nice..

but im afraid all of it wud b a dream..

fri..

had prob in class..

cant concentrate at all..

didnt slp well on thurs night.

at night emo king strike at candy bar..

mi n stan stan dono wad to do oso..

-.-

kinda fed up..

but heng heng..

still finish it eventually..

ytd..

went for kbox.. at marina..

wannna find bel bel..

but she not in!

^%$#@!

haha...

k box went well..

but simon didnt sing!

zzz..

first time to esplanade for walk walk..

kinda rottin ard..

almost wanna slp..

went for dinner..

n called CL to go hm tgt..

hee..

know wad??

tt's the first time i went out for more than 8 hrs??!!!

haha but i enjoyed myself!! ^ ^

tt's all for the updates..

hee..

im troubled.

carine

wen wen.. stop spammin everyone..

Thursday, October 04, 2007; 10:33 PM

tdy!!

nth special as usual..

went for class..

gt suan by anil..

zzz...

presented the lao ya presentation..

feelin damn down..

until..

HO!!

he came n sae..

FMIS cancelled...

haha..

so =))

thus..

happily plan for lunch..

went to JP...

PIZZA..

okok.. the accendin of my wgt..

but.. heck la..

saw my schedule.. a little peck chek..

sat. got cancelled..

damn..

end up workin one day only..

haha..

nvm..

who's volunteerin to take care of my meal nxt mth??

hee..

pict in the train..

(left - right)

xue, kyla(new member),claire,mi!,wenn joo!

not bad huh??

well.. that's all..

was wonderin why i help tt dumb dumb buy newspaper..

i shud b angry tt he call mi a dumb dumb!

haha

^night^

gt a scare jus now..

tot he mean it but i realise..

i wrong agn.

=) carine=)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007; 11:36 PM

gg to update abt tdy..

hmm..

a long day..

went to sch for an hr tuorial..

den wrk for 8 plus hrs.. (thnx ryan)

den now here i am..

tired and haggard...

tdy wasnt a gd day..

sort of got told off..

er.. ok

got told off by manger..

my fault n he's frustrated..

think is cos of the schedule..

haahaa.

not my prob..

new staff..

one wrd 'disappointin'

don ask mi y..

i cant explain..

nv noe a DMR can b tt jia lat..

hope my perspective of him will change..

his trainer.. fab..

fed up w mi..

haiz..

when are we not fed up w each other..

haha..

noe wad.. as i walk hm jus now..

got a sudden impulse to have a bf..

haha..

im crazy..

mayb too long not in r/l le..

tt day they reminded mi tt im single for more than 1 yr le..

i was thinkin..

is it?

haha..

but aft a shower..

i realise.. another layer of fat..

haha.

den was thinkin.. forget it..

zzz...

can remain single 4eva le..

haha..

tmr gg to b a long day..

hais..

how i wish i can pon...

hee..

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>

criteria of a bf... [hee]

90% kind
80% understanding
70% sensitive
60% sweet
50% tolerant
40% cute!
30% good lookin
20% bad temper
10% taller than my height

[the above mentioned.. is jus a guidlelines.. haha. for my own reference]

but realli.. if i findin a bf.. i realli wud look into the thingy.. except.. no. 6 to 8..

gtg.. bye~

-carine-

Monday, October 01, 2007; 8:58 PM

ahhh..

im gg crazy..

whr's the one i wanna talk to..

whr is walter??!!!

ok...

A lvls..

AHHH..

when is A lvls endin..

hais..

life is pathetic..

hmm..

tdy is better than i tot..

haha..

tot i'll b a dead cat at sch..

it turns out otherwise..

hyperactive..

mayb cos of barney..

entertainin..

hee..

he's back agn!

aHHHH..

disturbin w my tots..

i tot its over..

do he have to remind mi??

if he wan he have to sae it..

otherwise.. i hate the wishy washy thingy..

darn!

siann..

fab's blog mentionin abt quitin..

gt a feelin he quit i don wanna stay..

afterall..

he's the one of the many reasons i went back..

(ok.. all old staff is y i went back)

ah bel left..

left a note..

ask mi n reminded mi of everything..

givin mi advice on everything..

aww.. i'll miss her..

hmm.. GV gettin gay..

esp w the new C/E..

cant stand him..

wahahaha...

k la.. tt's all..

`carine`