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i am jus ranting. ^^

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memories and rants

Wednesday, January 31, 2007; 4:32 PM

==chalet..==

wee~~

i'm back from chalet

was actually hopin for more days altho im tired.. haha..

1st day.. aft wrk went to chalet.. miss the bus there.. thus v generously david came to our rescue!! *bleah* had some adult tok w him on the trip.. haa.. reach le i went shower den went to bed.. nth much was tired.. but 3 plus woke up n asistin ben n ivan w playin a prank.. on the other hand i go warn the ppl gg to played abt the prank.. haha.. den i go biatched off by claire den i diam.. hais..

2nd day..woke up wash up n went to shoppin.. yea stupid to shop when u r in chalet.. told ourself next time we go jacuzzi instead.. when we came back.. we had bbq.. wee.. nice food man~~ esp the crabstick..oh man.. i still drool at the tot.. nvm.. aft the chalet.. they sat down to play cards.. forfeit is to drink.. (not water n soft drink.. ya tt kind of drink.. whiskey i think..)hmm.. i went shower agn den join them.. but got punish to drink abt 4-5 cups onli.. v little only.. hee~~ sent joo out le.. went back to rm den heard them sae wanna go

OCH(old changi hospital)--a hospital closed down for abt more than 10yrs ago..

yea.. they went there for the shiok of it.. i prayed for them while i play majong.. haha.. nth much... only won once.. hais.. noob..

aft some time the guys came back w some real good story.. den we end up havin ghost tellin session in the rm.. hee.. spend the time till abt 4 plus.. when they decide they nid a rest.. went out for smth to eat.. den end up outside rm talk crap.. till im realli tired.. n ended up abt 3 hrs of slp.. waa.. siann.. haha.. tt's all folks..

i realli decide to let go..

holdin on seems meaningless..

Monday, January 29, 2007; 12:09 AM

//hatred//

haiz..

i was feelin so happy jus now..

knowin i got a lunch date w my les partner, some new yr clothes n gg chalet tmr..

but was destroy by someone who ask mi to mind my own biz.. fine! so wad.. i was jus askin abt how a fren ma.. the blog seems so sad.. n yet this stupid guy who i always look upon ask mi why i so biz body.. such an arse.. broke my heart.. so wad if its a les thingy(it sound it is) i'm gg to use those coloured specs to look upon her.. but i believe he tot i wud.. so was protectin his fren.. tho was right but he didnt stand at my position.. so i shut up.. but realli i kinda hate him le..

forget it..

hmm.. lets rewind back to ytd.. was really happy.. went to plaza sing w kw val n mt.. hee.. tot kw cnnt make it le.. cos he sick but he was alright lehh.. haha.. so lucky got ppl pei mi on the train(cos mt n val meet us at PS) den when we board the train.. guess who we met? lol.. BL.. haha.. so funny lorr.. was gg to work.. tok all the way to outram whr we parted.. hmm when buyin the ticket.. the gal ask mi for both our IC haha.. so funny.. ppl sae i look like 19 n she asked mi for ic for a nc16 movie.. howeva refuses to sell us cos no mt n val's hee.. den we wait.. aft we gt the ticket.. the flr ppl ask for ic agn.. haha.. we gals showed.. i ask her whether kw nid she said no..wth.. watch pan labyrinth.. heres the story..

a little gal whose mother remarried to a cruel soldier (captain).. den.. her mother got a kid in her stomach whose hurtin her a lot.. the gal managed to find out tt she's a princess of a kingdom nid to do 3 task b4 returnin den.. the rest.. its for u all to find out.. haha.. but it is NC16 horr.. hee.. lots of violence v gruesome.. cant believe kw still can luaf at those disgustin scene..

aggr..

k la.. i'll stop here.. gg chalet tmr.. cant wait.. to run away from my computer.. cos when i on9 i wanna talk to himm... n now i hate him.. wadeva..

things nv realli turn out the way how u wan them to b..

Saturday, January 27, 2007; 3:27 AM

``aftermath``

yipee~~

exam finally over(can consider la!)..

so it mean im gg to face my social life agn..

well.. generally the papers r pathetic.. cos sadly, its pullin down my confidence level.. got a feelin my gpa will cont to slide.. hais..

nvm it's 0ver le..

got to noe whr im posted to for attachment le.. MPA.. v sadly.. i'm not happy with it at all.. it sound big.. but knowin wad im gg to do there.. its.. pathetic.. but nvm.. kayson gg dere w mi.. hee.. got ppl i noe acc is better than nth..

hais.. i hate it when his old prob surfaced.. fine.. if he wanna publicise it might as well but it on the fridge to tell evryone abt it.. so ppl who doesnt noe will noe.. wouldnt it b better... how i wish i can jus shoot him.. but i noe i jus cant do it.. fine.. i shall heck..

okie.. i made a big mistake tdy.. hopefully no one's hurt.. i shall keep my mouth shut n to myself.. shall not sae too much might end up hurtin someone..

class chalet comin le.. haha.. smac at sentosa.. was thinkin.. but im lazi to go... hee.. so i think i'll giv it a miss agn..

hee.. sometym its difficult to break the news to ur manager even when they r in good mood.. how i wish i can say it peacefully.. hais..

jies' they all quite fine la.. but almosr all like mi lehh.. fallin sick.. sole survivor.. xue or is it sab?? lol... thnx xue for the 'ju hua',, my mum tot is my bf prepare de.. impossible.. i no bf yet she enjoy kajiao-ing mi..

k la.. night.. gg movie tmr.. hee..

*ps hope kw will get better ^ ^
ciaoz~~

sometym things r jus beyond our control

Monday, January 22, 2007; 3:36 PM

..mem0ry..

wee~~

1 paper finish le.. lol.. ya i noe 1 out of 5 is done.. damn sad..

so scared of my engineerin tutorial.. might not have enuf time to study.. for one thingy.. i got not enuf time to spare if i wanna study nav.. nvm.. sacrifice my slp lor.. haha..

cant like mingyi heck care nav go do engineerin.. i not as smart as him.. so if i do it.. im sure to see ali in yr 2.. n of cos let ah dam down.. cos he spend time to help mi.. if i fail i can go bang wall le..

im kinda pissed off by bein scolded stupid.. esp when i noe i am.. but realli lor... i'm not easily influence by others.. so if i decide smth it's not due to any person.. i swear to vouch the truth..

noe wad? i think i realli hate life.. die le.. im only 17++ n i hate life.. donno how long i still nid to live..siann.. or at least god b gd to mi help mi erase my memory from 9yr old till now de.. i don wanna rmb anything.. or best erase my entire memory includ those at 3 yr old.. or shall i say esp at tt age?? my life nv been a pleasant one.. i realised.. i live everyday like drinkin water.. now den i realised how many tangles i have to undo.. it hard..

k back to study.. enuf of moanin abt..

*ps KW can b a v gd pal.. any wan?
*pps tank's mv v cool... ggrrr..

don pity mi.. love mi..

Sunday, January 21, 2007; 2:54 AM

/bee zz\

life's gettin more headache nowadays..

realised tt no one updated their blog.. all i read is my granddaughter's blog.. most of the time is updated de.. lol..

but cant blame the rest they shud b bz w their studies bah.. borrin.. den y am i updatin? hahaz.. stupid ppl will ask themselves stupid question..(bang wall)

life's really gettin worst.. i hate it man.. i cried suddenly for no reason.. or let sae.. for a reason i refuse to acknowledge or i don wanna noe.. but the tears jus flow lor.. shit.. waste of water.. singapore water v precious.. hee..

mayb my work load really get heavy till i cant realli breathe.. im fallin part i guess.. hmm.. im gg to loosen myself b4 new yr..

hmm.. tdy.. got some lecture frm our dear fren steven.. told mi tt i talk too much.. okie.. den i'll diam.. he'll regret it man.. but realli lor.. no session im allow too move abt ma.. i hate to stay in one place.. but to tell him everywhr i go sound stupid.. go toilet have to sae.. a little weird weird.. but nvm.. do as wad he sae.. den i'll b trouble free.. hee.. but realli funny lor.. i think when he talk to mi like talkin to a wall.. i realli donno wad kind of reaction i shud giv him.. smile? look stupid to still b happy when he is lecturin mi..

hmm..
exam gg over.. which mean hol.. den chalet.. hee.. cant wait to stay away frm home agn.. donno which gundu lect giv us only 1 mth of break.. but my senior sae not bad le.. tt time they only have 2 wks.. so ppl.. b glad.. haha..

k la.. i stop here.. gonna go back to my acc or is it bed time? haha.. will update soon..

i believe i can lie to the whole world..

but i'm not able to hide the truth frm myself..

Friday, January 19, 2007; 7:43 PM

*life*

haiz~

life's gettin worse..

esp w the ica..

haven started..

all the fault of the computer..

okie.. my fault..

problem w my social life.. my fault? i donno.. seems to be.. everyone seems to get bad to worse.. how i wish smth can b sone.. but i donno.. sob..

think i realli fell for this guy.. cant cfm.. cant put down the prev one.. seems to me tt wad's most difficult things in life is to put down.. don dare to do anything rash.. don wan the history to repeat itself.. so.. i hope nth will cause mi to do anything..

thnx ah dam for helpin me in nav tdy.. clear most of my doubts..
chart datum + tide - draft = UKC..
learned this today.. hee.. smth to b glad abt..

aggr.. realised ah dam got v cute teeth.. haha.. oppx bad habit.. bleah..

if only i can take everything in

n eat it up! =)

Thursday, January 18, 2007; 2:24 AM

--u mi n they--

zzz...

stupid comp.. cnnt burn de.. damn it.. haiz..

its 0231am n im still sittin here tryint to burn the file using the stupid burner.. shldnt have said i have a burner.. cos its a lousy one... aggr.. thnx honglie for stayin up with mi agn.. this isnt the first time le.. always stayin up late w mi whenever im doin my assign.. realli appreciated it.. hmm.. think this will mean i nid to meet him tmr to take the cd from him.. the prob is not with the meetin.. is in fact im afrad that i'll b late.. haha.. l8r he late oso den i die..

well.. realise smth.. everyone ard mi are feelin quite down.. donno y.. the tot of it don make mi feel ani better.. for one thing can see some v stress w their school work, relationship n social.. wad he told make mi feel as if he's still thinin abt revengin.. but y? i don get it.. aniwae hope they get better..

another thing.. tdy durin work.. i saw blood agn.. hong lie.. he cut himself.. omg.. blood jus flow out lor.. yet he still act as if nothin happen.. ZZZ.. hmm.. changed the poster tgt.. cos this might b his last task in hell le.. he's gg up to the heaven(projectionist) hais.. ps mi.. think i might quit.. since he's not there le.. but.. aiya see my ITP first la.. zzz...

k.. got to go.. hope everyone are in their swt dreams by now..

in my heart i wish for that person to come to mi

but i nv noe when will that person b here..

Saturday, January 13, 2007; 6:45 PM

^community dae^

wohoo~~
tiring day..

spent my day in SP with CSCC ppl takin care n playin with the kids there.. they're adorable.. i mean some la.. but realli.. hopefully they enjoyed themselves.. cos i feel there are some part whr the activity gets a little boring.. hee.. but overall i rate it slightly above satisfactory.. hee..

met a gal name karin.. hee... so when ppl call tt name both of us will turn... lol.. but realli enjoyed her company.. ^ ^

i rmb in the morn when i reach i sort of regretted gg le.. cos realli nth to do.. cos the kids haven arrive.. in fact i reach there without knowin wad happen n wad kind of ppl i wud meet.. but eventualli i blend in n play along..rmb the capt ball.. sad.. im so sry to disappoint them.. didnt do well.. cos im not tall enuf.. haiz.. but they didnt realli rmb it.. jus keep on playin.. i kinda become there 'water jie jie' cos i visited the cooler twice to fill the water for them.. while they cont to have fun.. haha..

wad i realli enjoyed is when they call mi jie jie tt time.. realli feel so happy.. at tt pt of time realli forget everything which is upsettin.. hee.. the lunch is good cos everyone sit n talk abt themselves n tt gun du alvin came n do magic show.. haha.. stupidd..

one good thing.. cos a v cute guy dere too.. okie.. not rrealli most ppl type of cute.. but mine.. hee.. the way how he smile n lauf.. realli.. wahahah funny...

k la..
gt to go.. my hse wrk.. hee..

hidin frm ur fear is a coward move

+13 13 13+

shitter..

lost my entry.. spend one hr on it.. n its.. gone??? ggrrr.. forget it..

nvm.. will redo my entry.. no one can stop mi frm doin one entry for tdy.. its 4 le.. but im gg to finish it no matter wad..

well.. currently still waitin for the guy whom i wanna see to b on9.. but don think he will appear le.. sob.. nvm.. tis always happen to mi de.. sad.. no choice heaven sae he might not b the guy for mi.. but.. he better giv mi a right one.. the longer i wait.. the higher the chances of seein couples in the streets.. aggr.. jus wan a guy whom i like n like mi back.. is tt v difficult.. but bo bian.. good things are worth waitin for.. n im waitin v patiently.. hee..

today work in candy bar.. as closer.. w kenneth n kwang wee.. damn nice.. one of the best days i had.. its v simple n enjoyable.. i suan kenneth n he suan mi back.. kwangwee.. er.. xtra? no way.. he lauf n enjoy w us.. best thing.. heard him scold vugarity.. cool.. nv noe he noe how to.. did he scold tmd? or? er i forgot.. haha.. toopid kenny go kick my buttock.. damn sicko.. but i was the one who attack him w my wrds.. bleah.. noe wads the worst part.. he attacked mi w his two fingers.. at my sensitive pt...(ppl who noes.. shhhh..) screamed at him.. lol... enjoyed his pissed off face.. so cutee.. cos he chubby ma.. lol...(don tell him tt i sae him cute..) haha.. er xin.. wahaha..

hmm mingyi bday tdy... haha Happy B'dae.. cant make it.. cos got tons of hse wk nid to do.. think he'll b happier if he don see mi too.. =) so hopefully all goes well.. ><

k la.. gtg.. tmr event at 10..ZZZ..

whr is my mr.??

Monday, January 08, 2007; 2:36 AM

++good or not?++

wee~~

its 2.49 am.. im still here.. cos pia my accounting and my gems.. stress.. but i don feel tired.. but tmr.. if u see mi slp wake mi up.. haha.. cant help it.. my work is more impt.. actualli don feel like stoppin acc.. like the more u do.. the more u feel like doin.. however if i do all.. lina how? don nid to do?? haha.. so i decide to stop n edit a little of my gems presentation.. got a feelin i wont score a lot for it.. but im determine to try.. siann..

for now.. i officially.. andersen.. no longer is my kor.. hee.. i'm free.. okie la.. he's a nice guy.. but too nice for mi.. suffocating.. i think i'm those who realli nid to b freed.. rather sae.. i nid lots of space for myself.. so.. thats the end.. but we will still b frens.. best.. my head wont be hit agn..
howeva some bad pt.. but i rather swallow it.. don wan think of anything much now.. ^ ^

k la.. gonna grab some slp.. ZZz

dreams r meant for slpin~

Saturday, January 06, 2007; 3:18 PM

>disapp0intment<

omg~

this is the first time im so disappointed in someone.. the first time i can see how full of one self.. i cant believe it.. he's someone who i tot i can befriend with.. but i nv tot he can cause sso much upset to me.. i think if the whole world is like him... i donno how much ppl will have to die.. (luckily there's mixture of ppl who are selfless too..)

i mean.. ya at time we would react the way he did.. but the thing is not alwayys right..u have to have some self control... mayb this words i said i will regret it.. but i cant control it anymore.. im breakin down if this continues.. everytime i said smth.. i will b careful of wad i said to him.. otherwise i'll end up in difficult situation.. for one things i have more commitments than him.. most of the time he's him alone.. then wad abt mi... i care too much abt my surroundin.. anything will affect mi drastically.. my family is n always the most impt de.. so wadeva they nid mi i'll try to b ard.. so this mean i cnnt run ard n enjoy as much as him.. n theres no way he can do tt to mi.. im under lots of pressure.. these are part of my background...

hais... how i wish i have a bigger heart to cover his mistake.. but i cant.. i'm realli fallin into a bottomless pit.. mayb we shud jus b frens nth more than tt.. thou tt will not make much diff.. but it will helps a lot w my stress level..

if i noe wad to do

breakin down..

Friday, January 05, 2007; 2:03 AM

+-regrets-+

another bloggin session~~

haaz.. life seem lifeless enuf.. nth much is happenin.. hopefulli nth happen actualli cos i got a feelin its gg to b bad stuff..

from out of nowhere im a grandmother.. lol.. valerie is my granddaughter.. to tell the truth still cant accept the fact tt lie is my son.. lol.. but tt's for the fun of it.. no mind being related to them.. hee nice ppl..

scare mi sia when meng ting call mi n ask i like ryan isit.. wad the hell.. hais.. luckily is she hear wrongly... mi don like him.. im tellin the truth.. but i don hate him either.. he's jus like a colleague... or a just-just fren.. hee..

think jie's kind of fed up with mi tdy.. we were *silence* all the way on the train.. haiz.. why like tt.. first my kor make mi pek chek now my jie made mi *fan fan*.. siann..

hmm.. think i fell for a guy le.. not the prev one.. this guy kinda pathetic.. got rejected all the way.. i think.. cos he refuses to believe any gal wud fall for him.. hais.. kinda speecless when talkin to him..

but this feelin might b fake.. must b due to ah ma's words.. terrible.. all of them still refuses to believe mi tt im single.. wth.. hmm.. told mi off tt im stupid to dump my ex.. cos he's a nice guy a gal wud wan.. made mi sort of regretted.. told myself not to le.. but the feelin jus kept comin back.. kinda pathetic.. always regrettin aft i lost it.. k la go do accountin le..

life will get better, wont it?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007; 2:22 AM

=2007=

my first entry for 2007..

to start off..
i'll jus briefly mention wad i wan for my new yr..
-be more mature
-think before i open my mouth
-improve my memory frm 64MB to 128MB(=P)
-help more ppl
-balance my life
-tell as little lies as possible(include white lies)
-more hardworkin
-prevent war
-be happy

yea that's wad i wan.. haiz..

misses my sisters they all le.. wanna tell them everything.. hais.. but nvm.. hopefully it will b over soon..

i realli don believe it.. told my mum n my grandma i don have any bf,, they don believe.. wad the.. wad's their prob... cant i jus be single.. haiz.. n its not as if good guys wld fall frm heaven.. jus told my gm;
in 10 handsome guys..
5 r attached 3 r rotten 1 is 'disgustin'
thus there is onli 1 available.. but if u think of it statistically..
in 100 guys.. only 10 is good ones.. ani idea how difficult it is.. it's like searchin a needle in an ocean.. haiz.. so ppl like mi no much luck better stand one side.. hee..

im being v positive here already.. i can make the statistic worst.. well.. if u realli wanna noe more abt it.. u shld listen to S.H.E. 'bu xiang zhang da'(don wanna grow up) i still like the way how they describe fairy tales' prince.. haa.. love the guys reaction when i sing to the guys in k box.. haha..

k la stop here.. gg to movie tmr alone.. wonder how it feels.. walter got describe to mi b4.. wanna try it for my own..>< night/mornin? lol..

ciaoz..